


Kissy Kissy

by chaya



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaya/pseuds/chaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Teyla saw it happen, she took only a few moments to blink before acting as if everything was normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissy Kissy

John and Rodney have a long-standing and unspoken agreement that for political reasons, it is far better to keep John single... at the expense of dignity if need be.  
  
That sometimes means, as John wryly puts it just to annoy the everliving hell out of Rodney, "kissy kissy".  
  
The arrangement made sense - to use Teyla as a beard wouldn't be solid enough. The alien chick in question might simply decide to take Teyla out of the equation and take her place. And Ronon, well. For one thing, John wouldn't even be able to _reach_.  
  
They've got it down to a science now, John and Rodney. Halfway into the harvest festival/moon ceremony/trade agreement/luncheon, when it is looking like the maiden/noblewoman/huntress is having a very hard taking 'no' for an answer, Rodney will disengage himself from whatever he was doing and make himself available. Usually in some wide open place where everyone could see, just in case there were _any more_ irksome available women that wanted to fling themselves at the guy with the stupid hair.  
  
Rodney would act natural, humming a little bit, and John would suddenly 'notice' him and come over. Rodney would smile, John would smile, and then he would wrap his arms around Rodney's shoulders and pretend to kiss him for a few seconds.  
  
They have perfected it over time, making the mouth-to-corner-of-mouth moments less awkward by each of them trying to hum Vader's theme music in quiet unison until they pull away.  
  
Teyla's gotten used to it. She agrees on the importance of keeping the women from feeling actively denied, as that would only build resentment. It is sensible. The first time she saw it happen, she took only a few moments to blink before acting as if everything was normal.  
  
The first time Ronon saw this, he laughed his ass off.  
  
They usually leave it out of mission reports. The SGC and IOA don't need to know every little unimportant detail of their offworld missions. Besides, John has a sneaking suspicion that if they _did_ mention it, Rodney's report would involve key phrases like 'horrible breath' and 'possible halitosis'.  
  
"Cheer up, Rodney," John drawled as the party was winding down one night, grinning wide as you please. "You're the envy of every girl at the shindig."  
  
"The prettiest princess," Ronon rumbled in addition.  
  
Rodney glared daggers. "I will find out who taught you that reference and I will murder them."  
  
There was not enough mead in the _world_.  
  
*  
  
This was relevant context for the situation on MX7-897, but it was just about the furthest thing from Rodney's mind at the time.  
  
"Hey, what-" was all he managed to say before an arm swooped around him, whipcord strong and just as quick, and his back hit the brick of the city wall. He had just enough time to realize that it was a familiar arm, and the looming form above him was actually Ronon. But where was the gunfire? Where were the angry mobs? Ronon grabbed him and shoved him around all the time offworld, but the cause of this was always some sort of imminent death, or at least imminent mortal injury.  
  
Rodney was just about to ask about the location and variety of death/injury, but was interrupted by Ronon pinning him back and kissing him fiercely.  
  
This was not usually part of the process. In fact, Rodney couldn't remember ever being kissed by Ronon. There had been some manly glad-you-aren't-dead hugs in the past, but there hadn't been any recent peril in the past, and what kind of peril would mean _tongue_?  
  
When Rodney didn't open his mouth immediately, Ronon's hands drew in and bracketed his hips. McKay shivered a little and felt his lower lip being drawn out by sharp and careful teeth.  
  
"Wh..." Rodney said. "What..."  
  
Ronon said something, but it didn't sound like words, or at maybe Rodney's brain wasn't capable of processing speech again quite yet, and so he blinked repeatedly at Ronon as he hovered over him, still very much in his personal space.  
  
"Kissy kissy," Ronon said again.  
  
"Ki. Kissy. Oh. What?"  
  
Ronon rolled his eyes, darting a quick glance over his shoulder before grabbing McKay by the jaw and diving in for another one. Rodney was ready this time, but for some reason that meant he opened his _mouth_ this time, and licked Ronon's lips in response to some deep and kind of scary rumbling purring noise that Ronon made when his fingers brushed through Rodney's hair.  
  
Rodney's brain was clearly on autopilot. Something.  
  
"The chief's daughter. Kali, Ka-something, she won't go away." Ronon punctuated it by pressing his lips to Rodney's cheekbone, then jaw. "Sheppard isn't halfway done with the trade papers yet. It's been three hours."  
  
"Oh," Rodney said, and was about to say something more eloquent when Ronon grunted assent and nipped his earlobe.  
  
Rodney yelped.  
  
*  
  
Later, when they were trudging back to the gate, Rodney fell back a little until he was in step with Ronon. Ronon, for his part, looked bored as ever.  
  
"Um, so," Rodney started.  
  
"You mad about the hickey?"  
  
"Wait, _what?_ " Rodney clapped a hand over his neck, white-faced.  
  
Ronon snickered.  
  
"You - you bastard. No, no, I." Rodney tried again. "You know when Sheppard and I..."  
  
"Kiss?"  
  
"Y-yeah, we don't actually, you know."  
  
Ronon looked over, eyebrow quirked. "Don't actually what?"  
  
"Don't _kiss_."  
  
And Rodney had expected some sort of shock, or at least a little embarrassment, _something_. Instead Ronon just went 'hmm' and thought about it.  
  
"That's dumb," Ronon concluded finally.  
  
" _What?_ "  
  
"You might as well just do it," Ronon clarified. "It's not like you're a bad kisser."  
  
" _What?_ "  
  
Ronon shrugged. "I liked it, anyway. And it made the girl leave me alone."  
  
"McKay, Ronon, let's pick up the pace!"  
  
Ronon quickened his stride, leaving Rodney to stumble numbly through the thicket on his own and wonder why he felt more flattered than scared.  
  
Although, scared was definitely in there too.


End file.
